The Fear and Guilt that haunts him
by ParaNitroChick
Summary: A bunch of small stories fueled by ideas from each episode. Starts with the events from 2x16, will add new chapters as each ep airs until the end of the season. May contain plot outside the episodes. All mistakes are mine. Mostly Sara/Oliver, some Olicity ***Now Complete * * *
1. Oliver vs Slade

A/N: So here's my second story, I hope it's a little better than my first. I am hoping to make a multi-chapter drabble. Again all mistakes are mine and I don't own Arrow or any of the Characters. I'm just playing in the Arrow sandbox.

"Oliver what's wrong with you? You're not eating, you barely sleep… when you do you have nightmares?"

Oliver wanted to tell Sara everything; he wanted to tell her that seeing Slade again scared him to death. Oliver was so sure he had killed Slade back on the Island, but it seems he was wrong and now that he was back to fulfill his promise it made him sick to his stomach. How could he convey to Sara that the guilt of what happened on the island and the fear or facing Slade only ended with him doubled over in an alley in the middle of a case or vomiting in the bathroom of Verdant away from the prying eyes of Felicity and Diggle. And sleeping? What good did it do as all he dreamed about now was Shado or Slade killing everyone he ever cared about?

"Shado's death flashes across his mind as it has many times since returning to Starling City a few months ago the doubt and grief he still felt even after six years still turns his stomach. He knows Ivo was a psycho and as much as Sara keeps reminding him of that he still feels responsible for her death. Knows that Slade thinks he's responsible for killing the woman he loved.

Even though he told his mother they were through, now after everything that's happened in the past few days deep down he still needs to protect her, protect Thea and Felicity. Slade is hell bent on hurting everyone he loves and cares about.

Sara pulled his mind back to the present "Oliver I wish you would just talk to me, keeping all this to yourself isn't helping." "You have a lot of people that love you and care about you but you can't just shut everything and everyone out; it isn't healthy for you." "I'm worried about you"

"I'm fine Sara really; I don't know what you want me to say?" "Say you'll talk to me and let me help you work through this." She pleaded. "I can't, if you do Slade will kill you; I've lost too much already to risk losing you to."Oliver looked away. Sara only took his face in her hands and tried to ease his mind. "Ollie you're not going to lose me; remember I survived that island same as you, plus things you can only begin to imagine. I'm not that hard to kill." That small sentiment at least brought a small smile to his face and Sara could see him relax just a bit. Oliver sighed "So what do you want me to do?"

End:

A/N two: So should I continue? Would you be interested in more? Please R/R and let me know if it's bad or if I should continue. My first story wasn't very good, but as long as Stephen Amell keeps doing what he's doing I won't stop.


	2. Memories

A/N: Apologies in advanced if I go beyond the Arrow storyline, I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the DC comic books that Arrow is based off of so I'm going my own way here. I may change some stuff as the rest of the season plays out.

Oliver was again in the throughs of his latest nightmare early the next morning when he woke with a start. That familiar feeling of nausea creeping right up to bite him again along with a headache; no doubt from the many drinks he consumed with Sara upstairs the night before. Sara could mix a mean drink. She had managed to get his mind off of everything for a little while by plying him with drinks, good music and what food he could manage; but it didn't keep the nightmares completely away.

This time Slade had managed to capture Felicity and was torturing her right in front of him except they were back on the island and Oliver was paralyzed and unable to do anything but scream out in terror as Slade killed her then effectively stuck in Arrow through her right eye for good measure.

"You did this to me Oliver now I will do what I have must to get my revenge. "

Now fully awake Slade's words still rang loud and clear in Oliver's head. "Five years ago I made you a promise…Well I'm here to fulfill it." Shaking the memory off the best he could Oliver shrugged on a sweatshirt, dry swallowed some aspirin and sat down at Felicity's computer trying to figure out what to do next. Felicity had given him a way to track Slade by his bank account, but even Oliver knew that it wasn't the best plan of attack. He had told her that he needed to face his ally alone, but when he reached the address associated with the account all he had found was his former contact dead in a chair with an Arrow through his eye much the same as the nightmare he had awoken from a few minutes ago. Sara wasn't there so he assumed she decided to give him some space and was probably out shopping with Laurel.

Deciding there was nothing on Felicity's computer that would help him track down Slade any faster he decided to pay a visit to Amanda. As he donned his hood he couldn't help but think transforming himself into the Arrow used to make him feel good, he knew he was doing the city some good. Right now he felt that donning the hood put him and the people around him in more danger. He pushed that out of his mind and headed for ARGUS.

Amanda had been alerted to a break in and arrived to find the security detail passed out on the floor, she recognized the hooded figure right away. "Hello Oliver." Oliver pulled off the hood "Hello Amanda." She meets his eyes, "Are you still mad at me?"

"Luckily you've been moved down the list." Oliver quipped. "Then what are you doing here?"

"Slade Wilson is alive and he's looking to hurt me and everyone I care about, and I need your help to find him." Amanda looked shocked "And what do you intend for me to tell you?"

"Do you have any information on any new players in town, anyone who seems to have found their way to Starling City?"

Amanda looked at him for only a second, "There is one; he's left a trail of bodies all over the world and the trail has led here."

"Does this new player have a name?" Oliver asked.

"They are calling him Deathstroke; he's a real killer Oliver and no one can find him or stop him so far."

Oliver didn't need to look at the photo she brought up for long, he knew right away who was behind that mask. That familiar fear he'd been able to push down thus far since he awoke a few hours ago returned full force. Slade Wilson was truly back but not just as the soldier he met on that island six years ago. But a deadly killer with a secret running through his veins; the Miracuru had made Slade an unstoppable killing machine. Oliver only hoped that Roy wouldn't meet the same fate that Slade Wilson now had coming to him…

Ok so that's it for now: I was going to write an independent story but it's kind of following the story lines of the show right now. So I think I'll add more as each episode airs.

Please R/R, I welcome constructive comments and ways to help format my story better. Thank you so far to mjf2468 for the review and to my two follows as well.


	3. Fear and Torture

A/N: I want to say thank you for the new follows on the story this week. I'll be updating as each episode airs. I hope this one is ok.

Amanda had really thrown Oliver for a loop and as he sat alone in the basement of Verdant he couldn't help but let his thoughts float back to her…. Before he knew Sara was still alive and before this whole mess with Ivo there was just the three of them. After the death of her father Shado had really taken to Oliver. He had felt something for her, maybe it was love, maybe it was just the fact that he was happy that he wasn't alone on that godforsaken island.

But he questions even now; had he failed to notice Slade also cared for Shado? Did he fail to notice the sideways glances and maybe even a little jealousy when Shado paid more attention to Oliver than she did to Slade? Slade was a trained soldier so what more could Shado teach or show to him that he didn't already know?

"Oliver Queen if you think any harder you're going to burn hole in the wall." Oliver looked up to see Felicity standing behind her computers.

"Care to share what has your mind so occupied?" Felicity asked

"Nothing really" he said, "I was just thinking about Shado, how I wish she was here."

Felicity pulled her computer chair next Oliver and sat down; "She really meant a lot to you didn't she?"

"Yao Fei saved my life and I owed it to him to keep her safe and I couldn't even do that." Oliver said flashing back to the day Ivo gave him the choice to save Shado or save Sara. The sadness returned to his eyes.

Oliver sighed "Truth is I loved both of them and I wish things would have worked out differently, but it didn't so now Slade is here in Starling City hunting and plotting to kill my family and everyone I love, I've got to find a way to stop him."

Felicity watched as that fear returned to his eyes and wondered what was really going through his mind, but decided to leave him alone for now.

"Oliver it will be Okay, We'll all be okay." "Now get some rest, you look like hell." As Felicity got up to leave Oliver grabbed her gently by the arm.

"Hey, thanks for…. Oliver hesitated, just thanks for everything." And gave her a kiss on the forehead "What would I do without you?"

"Crash and Burn." She chuckled as she walked away leaving Oliver alone with his thoughts once again.

Oliver began to work out on the Salmon ladder to try and release some of the pent up nerves building for what he knew was coming and what he would have to do. Once he felt somewhat tired he lay down on the cot and tried to sleep, his mind again wandering to his time with Shado and Slade before everything went to hell. Before he knew it he fell into an uneasy sleep and another nightmare.

"Oliver you did this to me, You Killed me…." "Why did you let him kill me Oliver?" Shado stood before him.

"Shado im sorry, I…..I didn't know what to do." He gave me a choice…Oh God Shado I wish I could take it back." Oliver screamed as Shado faded from his view.

Suddenly he was chained to the pipes on the freighter and Slade was torturing him again. His whole body was trembling from the repeated jolts of electricity and the pain… his whole body ached like he had been hit by a freight train. His eye was swollen shut and now there was a piercing pain in his shoulder. Slade had ordered the men remaining on the freighter to tattoo the same dragon like symbol as Shado wore onto Oliver so he would never forget what he'd done.

"Now this is your mark to bear Oliver, you must live with what you've done for the rest of your life." Slade said Solomly. "And if Sara doesn't bring me Hendrik in the next hour, I will kill you, then I will go after her and inflict just as much pain and suffering to her as I have you"

With that Slade took one of his blades and began carving and cutting into Oliver. He didn't stop; even though Oliver begged and screamed it did no good, Slade was going to kill him.

It was his own screams that brought him awake and out from his latest nightmare. Instantly he was hit with nausea and it sent him bolting for the bathroom in the foundry. Without Felicity and Diggle around he didn't have to worry about hiding his distress. He stayed there hunched over the toilet for what seemed like forever but it may have only been minutes. When Oliver felt like he couldn't give anymore. He stood on shaky legs and rinsed his mouth to rid himself of the acrid taste of what little he consumed the night before. Looking at himself in the mirror, for the first time he noticed his palor and the dark circles under his eyes; he could still feel the burn of the tattoo and the echos of pain that Slade inflicted on him 5 years ago.

Splashing water over his face he shut the water off, walked out of the bathroom and sat back down on the cot. He knew what had to be done and he knew he couldn't do it alone. If he was going to make a move now was the time. He decided….Slade had to die.

~End~

Ok so I didn't really have anything that struck me in this week's episode. So I went out on my own again. Next week's episode is titled "Deathstroke" so it should be rather Slade heavy with a showdown of some proportion. Judging from the preview I should have plenty of directions to go next weekend. Plus I'm a fairly huge fan of the director Guy Bee who is next weeks director. I hope you enjoyed. Reviews are still welcome; let me know how I'm doing.


	4. Authors Note

Deathstroke airs tomorrow night, so excited. So some notes, I've had someone ask me of Oliver regrets his decision to save Sara and Shado getting killed. I can only say its up to how the reader perceives it. I'm simply taking ideas from each episode and creating a story. I read in between the lines when watching. I do think Oliver regrets how things turned out in the long run, but again I'm using stuff from each episode for ideas. All mistakes and inconsitancies are mine. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for my next chapter at the end of the week.


	5. Aftermath

Hello Again, I apologize for the long wait, I think the last episode broke my brain. I had a huge case of writers block after watching "Deathstroke"a couple of weeks ago. I just couldn't find a chapter storyline, so with that said I apologize in advance if this chapter sucks. But Oliver needs to deal with the events of the end of the episode somehow. Thanks so much for reading.

Oliver sat pretending to listen to his mother and Sebastian debate; he was more worried about why Thea wasn't answering her phone and why she was not with him right now. So deep in thought he didn't hear the moderator say they had a question from Thea Queen. What did catch his attention were her cries for help as the faded video came through on the screen behind the stage. He knew right away who had kidnapped her; helplessly he watched as he came up behind her and held a blade to her throat. The words "How Much is Thea Queen's Life worth?" flashed across the screen. Oliver felt helpless, angry and sick all at the same time.

Of all the people in the room Oliver was the only one who knew what Slade was really capable of, suddenly he noticed the lack of screams coming from Thea; instead he noticed the screams in the room around him. He drew his attention back to the screen only to be horrified by what he was now seeing. Red… all he saw was red all over the walls, the floor and the video screen.

It took him only a minute to realize what he was looking at. Thea was dead, Slade had taken one of his blades and slit Thea's throat in front of the whole crowd. Then as he watched an arrow appeared and was embedded in her eye. Oliver lost it, he stared screaming

"You Son of a Bitch!"

"It's me you want, Why?"

Olive woke with a start, he was at the foundry, it was just another nightmare in a series of many. Sara was stirred beside him.

"Ollie are you ok?"

Oliver shook his latest nightmare from his thoughts. "Yeah I just need a minute."

He got up off the cot and walked to the sink to splash some water on his face. He took a few deep breaths. Sara walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Do you wanna talk about his latest nightmare?"

Oliver shook his head "No not really."

She knew something new was bothering him. So much had happened in the last couple of days and she can't blame him for not wanting to talk about it just yet. Roy is gone, Felicity and Diggle have effectively signed on for a suicide mission. Thea will never be the same now that she knows who her real father is neither Oliver nor Sara know if she'll ever speak to them again.

Now with the upcoming battle with Slade they were both just scared; to them Slade Wilson died on that island five years ago now with him back it's almost surreal to see him now. Another sigh from Oliver brought her back to the present.

"Oliver are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Sara I'm not sure of anything right now; I looked him straight in the eye there was no remorse, no guilt for what he had done!"

"Slade is what I've been afraid of, worse yet is that he's got enough money to cover up anything he's done, now he's almost got the army he's looking for and he's got someone working for him."

"Thea will probably never talk to me or my mother again and I'm afraid deep down that if I don't do something everyone I love is going to die regardless. I just don't know what's going to happen."

Sara tried to comfort him "Oliver everything is going to be fine, we're gonna get Slade, Ok?"

"You don't know that, no one does! So just drop it!"

With that Oliver stormed out of the foundry; jumped on the motorcycle and sped off leaving Sara alone. He ended up at a bar on the outskirts of town. He managed to get drunk successfully and had called Dig to come get him. Because even Oliver Queen has become sensible enough not to drink and drive anymore; he'd made some claims he wasn't proud of and passed out in the passenger seat of Dig's car.

When he woke up the next time he was on Diggle's couch a bottle of water and some pain meds beside him on a table. He also noticed a trashcan next to the couch he grinned to himself as apparently John didn't trust him to make it to the bathroom in time; he hoped he wouldn't need it.

Slowly sitting up he took stock: Pounding headache? Ugh yup, dizziness and nausea? Ugh double check, he grabbed the trashcan but managed only a few painful dry heaves. In his ministrations he failed to notice Diggle had been watching from the kitchen.

"Rough night?" He asked

Oliver jumped a little; "Ugh don't remind me." Oliver said fighting back another wave of nausea. After a few minutes he rose and walked to the kitchen taking a seat beside Diggle and slowly sipped from the water bottle that was left for him.

"Look Dig I'm sorry about last night, I got out of hand but everyone is trying so hard to make this whole thing with Slade just another thing we have to do. We can't just kill him like a normal person; if you think watching out for Roy is difficult; Slade has lived with the Miracuru for five years he's adapted to be much more than just a human… He's a monster."

Diggle looked at him disapprovingly, "Oliver you don't think we see that?"

"The fear and anxiety on your face after you returned from the police station the other night. Trust me Oliver we understand."

"Me, Sara; Hell even Felicity will do anything to help you. I know your scared but you have to trust me when I say we're gonna get him."

"Now let's get you back in fighting shape, we've got a lot of work to do before we can go after Slade." "Do you think you can handle some breakfast?"

Oliver only looked at him pathetically, Diggle just laughed

"I'll take that as a No." he said.

"Well let's just get a move on; we still have to grab your motorcycle from the bar."

"If you feel sick again let me know, God knows it took me long enough to get you here last night, I had to pull over three times."

Oliver looked away sheepishly, tried not to laugh and apologized again to him for causing so much trouble.

Tbc…

A/N: Thanks for the continued support on this story. I don't have a lot of follows but I appreciate those who are following my little foray into FF.


	6. Slade's Endgame

A/N: Well Hello Again, So episode 2x20 was a jaw dropper, cause Holy Crap Oliver is a dad! I had a hard time wrapping my head around all the events that happened. As promised here is the next chapter. It's chocked full of spoilers for the end of "Seeing Red" So if you haven't see the episode don't read any further. If you have seen it, this is my take on what happens after the episode ends. Its a little A/U because we don't know what's going to happen in 2X21 next week. According to the preview and show runners Oliver will be MIA for at least some of next weeks episode. And it will begin a short time after 2x20 ended. I still don't own Oliver Queen, Arrow, or Slade. (Damn) All grammar, spelling mistakes and inconsistencies are still mine.

A/N II: If your not a fan of vomiting and or puking Oliver then you've been warned, cause if you saw a psychopath kill your mother in cold blood right in front of you. You'd probably react the same way Oliver does. Enjoy.

When the queen family didn't return from the rally Diggle got concerned. He had Felicity activate the GPS tracker she managed to slip into his jacket while apprehending Roy. Transponder in hand he took off. He grew more concerned the farther he got from the city, the woods outside Starling was not a good place for them. He came to a dead end in an old mountain road and realizing he could only go so far in the car, he followed the signal on foot for a half mile further into the woods. It was then he heard crying, it sounded like a young girl. As he followed the sound he came to small clearing and wasn't prepared for what he found. Oliver was unconscious on the ground, Thea lay crying by Moria's side. He edged closer and that's when he saw the blood and the wound in her chest, she had been stabbed by what looked to be a sword or some type of sharp object; Moira was dead. Diggle felt sick as he approached the youngest Queen. He knew who was responsible but didn't want to believe it. Softly calling her name he made his way closer, she didn't seem to hear him so he tried again. This time Thea re-acted screaming and trying to fight him off as he tried to wrap his arms around her. She must have thought their attacker had returned to finish what they started. However in her weak and fragile state it wasn't much of a fight.

"Thea…Thea, shhh it's okay, it's just me… hey it's me, your safe now." Once she realized it was Diggle she lost all her will to fight and collapsed in his arms sobbing again. He just held her for a few minutes before speaking to her.

"Thea? Thea? You need to look at me…" She wouldn't meet his eyes, she just kept crying.

"Thea, I need you to tell me what happened."

It came out only as a whisper but it confirmed Diggle's worst fear.

"Slade Wilson"

He realized Thea was going into shock knew he needed to act quickly. "Thea I need you to stay with me okay, I have to check on Oliver. Can you just sit right here?"

A weak nod was his only response as he moved toward Oliver. She just curled in on herself and buried her head in her knees and continued to cry. Reaching Oliver Diggle checked his pulse, relieved that Oliver was unconscious but still alive. He looked back over his shoulder.

"Thea are you still with me?" He asked.

Another small nod from Thea.

"I'm going to call 911, hang in there okay?" This time she didn't respond.

After calling 911 he went to work removing the cordage that bound Oliver; his face was bloody and he had a few lacerations on his forehead that were still oozing blood. He busied himself looking for more injuries but couldn't find any more physical ones. It was after he finished his last check for wounds that Oliver began to stir.

Oliver slowly came back to consciousness; his head felt heavy and he felt like he was in a deep fog. He could hear someone calling his name. The voice came in and out "Oliver….Can you….Me?" He thought to himself Diggle why are you here? Suddenly he shot up as it all came back to him in a rush. The car crash, waking up in the woods, Slade making him choose who to kill and who to save, just like Ivo had done to him on the island; his mother sacrificing herself so that they could live. His mother's voice:

"There's only one way this night can end; we both know that don't we Mr. Wilson." Oliver felt sick; Diggle made him lie back down. He caught sight of Moira again.

"No, No, No!" He shouted Panicking "My Mom!"

Diggle looked at him with tears in his own eyes "Oliver I'm Sorry."

"Nooooooo!" was all Oliver managed to choke out before scrambling a foot or two away from Diggle and vomiting into the leaves. Diggle touched his shoulder trying to comfort him but Oliver only flinched away as he continued to puke. After ten minutes Oliver's unrelenting stomach reduced him to a quivering mess left only with painful dry heaves. Now spent, breathing heavily he spat multiple times and wiped his hand across his mouth, trying to rid himself of the trauma he just witnessed. He finally turned to face his friend only to look past him momentarily to see Moria dead on the ground once again. It sent him into another fierce and painful round of dry heaves. Finally truly spent Oliver collapsed on the ground and began crying and sobbing uncontrollably. Thea still in shock crawled over to him and they sat there grieving and crying until the ambulance arrived.

Once the ambulance had arrived the paramedics suggested that Oliver and Thea be taken to the hospital. Oliver refused help from the paramedics but Diggle promised to drive them there after Moira was taken care of. The drive to the hospital was spent in silence; tears fell from all occupants of the car and Oliver eventually passed out again.

When he woke again he was in a hospital room; next to him in a chair was Felicity. She was asleep but she was there. He reached out and took her hand and held it tightly in his. Sara had left and now Felicity is all he had left beside Diggle. He'd probably lost Thea forever now in the wake of everything.

"Hey… Oliver, you're awake… Oh thank god… I thought we'd lost you when you disappeared." Oliver just looked at her with pain and tears in his eyes.

"Oh gosh, are you in any pain, can I get you anything?" Oliver just shook his head

"Ok well I'm just going to let the doctor know you're awake, and the police want to talk to you." With a slight nod from Oliver she left the room. Oliver didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to relive the nightmare of the past 12 hours. When she returned the doctor was with her; he recognized the man as the doctor who helped him the night before when Sara brought him in for his knee.

"Well Mr. Queen, I'm glad to see you're awake; I'll just get right to it, your sister tells me you were all in a car accident and you were abducted?" Oliver didn't respond

The doctor looked puzzled but continued. "Well you've got a nasty knee injury and a concussion; but nothing that won't heal in time. Your sister isn't physically hurt except for a few scrapes; she is however very traumatized and wants to leave. I'll be keeping you overnight and tomorrow you can go home. I'm sure this is very difficult for you, losing a parent is hard and I'm sure you have much to do." "I'm sorry for your loss Oliver; I was a big supporter of your mother."

With that the Doctor left the room. Oliver had stayed strong up until that point, but as the door closed behind the doctor Felicity could see his wall breaking down as the tears started to fall again. She didn't really know what she could say to comfort him or make him feel better. So she did the only thing she could do; she curled up next to him on the bed and together they wept for the loss of Moira.

The next day Oliver was released from the hospital. The police had been by to talk to him and get his statement but he wasn't sure after all that's happened that they believed him. Diggle had taken Thea home the night before but when they arrived she wasn't there. Oliver had told Diggle that he needed some time. Despite the lingering effects of the concussion Oliver took off. Diggle let him go; after all he's done a lot more with worse injuries and still taken down a butt load of criminals. So when he didn't show up at the foundry later that night, no one was too worried. They told themselves he just needs space. But when he didn't show up the next day they got worried.

Felicity tried tracking his phone, got nothing. No answer to his cell phones either. After another day without contact from Oliver they figured something must definitely be wrong.

"What do we do?" Felicity asked, "We can't just leave him out there alone."

"Felicity I know you're worried; I am to but we need to trust that Oliver can take care of himself." Diggle didn't seem so sure in his own words anymore. After all that's happened, even he could ignore the worst case scenarios running through his own head.

The day of Moira's funeral and Oliver is still missing. Thea is pissed that Oliver couldn't even bother to show up for his own mother's funeral. What she doesn't know is that Oliver is there; standing in the shadows silently grieving for the loss of his mother as he's done for a number of days now. He just can't face his sister, the grief and the burden that consumes him knowing that he brought Slade to Starling City. It has ultimately cost him his mother's life.

Her last words echo through his mind yet again as he stands there: "There's only one way this night can end; we both know that don't we? Mr. Wilson." The memories and the nightmares the last few days have been the worst. He hasn't slept, he's eaten very little, he can barely function and he pukes just about every time he relives that horrible scene. Over and over he's replayed that moment; her words to them, Slade running that blade through Moira's heart. Even standing there now the nausea returns and he feels like he might puke again, but he's got nothing left to give. It's all just painful dry heaves. He's cut himself off from the world, grieving for what was and will never be again. For that one moment the other night he had seen the light in her eyes when she told him she knew he was The Arrow and that she was proud of him. At least he had one good memory to hang on to; as he smiled through the tears that fell freely once more.

Everyone has secrets Oliver, she had told him years ago, but then he remembered that Moira was going to tell them something. Something about Merlyn, but what? He thought.

He was determined to find out what she meant, so he decided to do what he thought was best. So for the second time in a year, Oliver left Starling City; this time to plan his revenge against Slade and fulfill his own promise. The next time he really was going to kill Slade, even if that meant the end of him and the end of the Arrow.

TBC….


	7. Author's Update

Ok so I apologize for not updating for two weeks now. I've been super busy with work and last weekend I got to meet the man himself Slade Wilson/Deathstroke **Manu Bennett** at Minneapolis Comic Con. So I was super nervous and exited about that. Plus there was so much Emo Oliver in episode 21, it was hard to watch, heartbreaking but soooo good. The writers hit it dead on for me. And episode 22 the start of what's to come.

Spoilers Ahead:

Moira is dead, Slade has unleashed his army upon Starling City, after helping Oliver and the crew obtain the Miracuru Cure now Sebastian Blood is dead. Now Amanda from ARGUS is hell bent on literally destroying Starling City for good with a Drone Strike. Its setting up to be an epic (Literally more epic than last year) season finale on Wednesday night. If you've seen the promo shots you can tell it's gonna be one for the books. At least until next year; I think we can all agree that the show keeps getting better. So enjoy the season finale and i'll see what if anything comes to mind after watching the Finale on Wednesday night!


	8. Oliver Breaks Down

A/N: Here's the final chapter of my story, I removed the one with Slade and made that an independent story. This is how I wanted to finish this story, Oliver breaks down after Lian Yu and Felicity is there to help pick him up. This is the most Olicity I've written yet. So I hope you enjoy.

It started with a few sniffles heading back to the plane, a few deep breaths against a growing headache on the flight back to Starling City from Lian Yu. Oliver didn't think too much about it, stressful times right? Slade was finally behind bars and cured from the Miracuru far from Starling City and unable to harm anyone else Oliver cared for. He'd lost a lot of people in the past year. Tommy, his mother and now Thea was off who knows where. Roy had called briefly before they left for the island to tell him that Thea had left leaving only a note saying not to try and find her. Oliver could tell Roy was devastated; but told him he would catch up with him once he returned. He was looking forward to getting back and trying to pick up the pieces of his life that remained. He was sure that Walter would help him anyway he could until he got back on his feet. Like Felicity had said he was broke, now what was he going to do?

By the time they landed back in Starling City Oliver had a full blown headache and he felt a little feverish; great… he thought to himself all he needed was to get sick. But it was inevitable he decided, he'd been so stressed by all the events of the last month or so and wasn't getting a lot of sleep as he was still haunted by nightmares from the night Slade killed his mother.

It was still early when they arrived and Diggle had offered him a spot on the couch back at his apartment until he could figure out a living situation. Oliver thanked him but said he had some stuff to do and said goodbye to his friends. He called Laurel to get an update on her father; she had called just before they left and told him what happened. Laurel answered on the second ring and told him that they discovered he'd ruptured his spleen and cracked a few ribs when one of Slade's soldiers had thrown him into a desk at the police station; but they were able to get him into surgery in time and repair the damage. However it would take a while to get back on his feet. Oliver told her he was glad everything turned out okay and told her to let him know if there was anything he could do.

After he hung up with Laurel he called Walter but go no answer. Not wanting to be a bother he figured he had just enough money for a couple of days at a hotel; which was okay because he was really starting to feel bad. His headache had increased two fold and his body was starting to ache; not to mention his knee was still bothering him. After checking into a hotel he took a long hot shower hoping to rid himself of the chills that now wracked his body, took some pain medication and climbed into bed.

When he woke again it was still dark out, if anything he felt worse than before. He had collected some of the medical supplies from the foundry that weren't destroyed by Slade's soldiers, he dug around in the box and found a thermometer and stuck it under his tongue. After a few minutes it beeped; the readout on the thermometer read 101.6, awesome he thought. After taking some more pain meds he rolled over and went back to sleep. He woke again a few hours later coughing and sneezing. Oliver felt absolutely miserable. A half a box of hotel tissues later, he could sort of breathe again. He had no cold/flu supplies with him and his body now ached so much he dreaded getting out of bed to go to the store. So he did what any guy would do, he ignored his worsening condition and went back to sleep.

He woke to the sound of someone knocking on the door of his hotel room. Still half asleep and dizzy he drug himself from the bed to the door. No surprise it was Felicity on the other side of the door. He opened the door a crack.

"Finally, I've been trying to reach you for….." She stopped mid sentence.

He was pale and he looked feverish. She also noticed he looked a little green.

"Are you okay?" she asked, of course he's not okay she thought.

Oliver just stood there staring at her, "No not really." He said and opened the door for her to enter. He fell back into bed as she entered and closed the door. She noticed the pile of used tissues and could easily see now what she suspected, he was sick. Oliver had buried himself back under the blankets on the bed.

"So…" She said sitting down awkwardly, I just wanted to check on you. You left in such a hurry last night I was afraid that you would disappear again."

"I just wanted to be alone" squeaked the pile of blankets.

"Yeah well now that you used me for bait to cure Slade you're stuck with me; is there anything I can get you?

"A gun!" he said as he poked his head out from under the blanket.

"How about some soup?" She asked

"Ugh please don't mention food" Oliver groaned clearly nauseated by the thought. "Just leave me to die."

"No chance" she said picking up the thermometer. "Open up"

Amazingly enough he listened. A few minutes later it beeped. "102 degrees, congrats Oliver your sick." She said. He rolled his eyes in the No Shit Sherlock way.

"I'm going out to pick up some supplies then I'm coming back"; Oliver just moaned and buried himself back under the covers.

Felicity left and went to the local market to procure medications and other necessary supplies Oliver would need. After an hour she returned to the room, to find an empty bed. The room wasn't large so there was only one other place Oliver could be. Placing her supplies on the table it was then she heard it, the unmistakable sound of vomiting. She sighed inwardly, took off her coat and made her way toward the bathroom, entering cautiously she prepared herself for what she was about to see. Oliver was as she predicted sprawled out on the bathroom floor. A fine sheen of sweat now encasing his gorgeous face; she went to the sink and wet one of the washcloths hanging next to it, filled a glass with water and gave them to him. He took them weakly and thanked her.

Felicity maneuvered one of the hotel's chairs into the bathroom and together they sat in silence. Oliver was grateful for the silence as he feared if he tried to talk his stomach would make a repeat performance. He sipped the water and cleaned up his face a little. It was a little bit before he spoke.

"You don't have to sit here you know." He said breathing heavily. "It's just a little bug, I'll get over it."

"By the way how did you find me?" He asked quizzically.

"Hello I'm still the IT Girl; I still have ways of tracking your location. How do you think Diggle found you the night you were kidnapped by Slade?"

"Point Taken" He breathed out.

"I'm sorry…" she said apologetically "Here you are sick as a dog and I'm bringing up one of the worst nights of your life."

"Don't worry about it, but I would rather you not sit here and see this. " Oliver said

"What you don't think I can handle seeing my boss tossing his cookies, this is not the first time I've witnessed this Oliver."

Oliver just took a few breaths trying to still the nausea that had returned, Felicity knew what was coming. A few minutes later Oliver uttered only a small "Oh God" before scrambling from his spot on the floor his head in the toilet. Felicity was right behind him rubbing circles on his back to try and comfort him.

When Oliver sat back on his heels a few minutes later he picked up the glass with the remaining water and rinsed his mouth before spitting it in the toilet and flushing away the offending sight. Feeling a little better and although the nausea was still there he rose from his position and made his way back to the bed. Felicity followed him with the glass and went to the table to retrieve the abandoned supplies. She produced crackers, various cold/flu medications and an electrolyte drink. She took some of the meds to Oliver instructing him to take them, which he refused due to the lingering nausea. Felicity wasn't having any of it and after a few friendly threats he managed to get them down. Unfortunately they didn't stay there. Within a half hour Oliver had to abandon his warm perch in the bed for another round with the porcelain goddess. Felicity felt helpless.

This pattern went on for the next 12 hours, Felicity plying him with fluids, medications when he could tolerate them and rubbing his back when he couldn't. Once or twice in that period Oliver didn't make it to the bathroom and the trashcan became the victim of his stomach. Felicity thought to herself this must be what a mom feels like. Sure she's had her share of illness on her own, but never has she been this involved with someone else's care. She felt like she belonged there, and as many times as Oliver has saved her butt, she felt like she owed it to him to be there. It was going to be a long day/night.

Oliver woke the next day, his whole body still hurt, but he no longer felt feverish and the nausea had for the most part abated; which he was grateful for. Sitting up from his perch on the bed he looked around the room and noticed Felicity asleep on a pull out. She stirred at his movement;

"Hey" She said sleepily "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Oliver said "Glad that's over."

"Yeah what a night huh?" She said rising from her bed, "I was a little worried about you there for a while."

"Yeah, I haven't been that sick since I was on the island, thanks for being here. Sorry you had to witness all that."

"I really appreciate it."

"Are you kidding me, Oliver I would do anything for you." She said "Besides, I love you, even if it's only in the your like a brother to me way." "I just thought someone should be here for you."

Oliver smiled and walked over placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Thank You."

He saw Felicity off for the day, took a shower and set out to try and find a way to get his life back together. His mother was gone, Thea was gone, and Starling City still needed saving. As he left the hotel he could see all the destruction and mayhem that Slade's soldiers had caused. He figured that Sebastian was truly dead and now the city had no leader. He set off to see how he could help.

He would spend the next couple of days helping people in the glades clean up. And at night he would apprehend the people who chose to loot the city in the aftermath of the chaos. In the end the job of the Arrow was never finished. Life would move on and so would Oliver, but for now life was about rebuilding. And that's what Oliver set out to do.

~End~

So there it is, this story is now complete. Thanks for reading and favorite/follows. Please check out my other stories and I'll try to write some more over hiatus.


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